


Common Cold

by minkyus



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Humor, Multi, and by help i mean kill, baby line gets sick and tries to help eachother, based off osomatsu san, hyung line appears at the end, its all wholesome and crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-27 04:11:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20039728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minkyus/pseuds/minkyus
Summary: "son dongpyo! where are you going with our wallets?!""i'm going to save you guys! but not before i buy some ice cream first- to share of course!""hey! get back here!!!"or, x1's baby line catches a common cold and tries to help each other out.





	Common Cold

**Author's Note:**

> if you've watched osomatsu-san, this is based off that one episode with all the brothers getting sick.  
i'm writing this at 4am please forgive me.

A series of groans echoes through the room, along with a never ending train of coughs and sneezes. The kids of X1 are all currently sick, laying on top of a large mattress in the living room of their dorm. The older members are currently out for the day filming for a CF.

"Is this how we die?" Minhee speaks with a cough followed afterwards. Hyeongjun groans, rubbing his face and puffing out air. "I'm so sick I could die." He whines while tossing and turning frantically.

"Hyeongjun, if you don't stop moving... I'll throw you into a building." Eunsang threatens, making the other continue to do so. "Please do. I would rather be thrown into a building than suffer here with you idiots."

"What did you just call us?!"

Suddenly, the door slams; a small figure stands there with a bright smile.

"Hiya guys! Let's get some ice cream!" Dongpyo screams brightly while switching on the light switch, only to receive a chain reaction of curses and groans as a response. Dongpyo looks at them and makes his way to the front so he could face his sick members.

"They have new flavors at the shop! Look, look!" He yells, sitting on Eunsang and showing him his phone screen.

"We have to go! _Please!_" He then jumps onto Minhee.

"Guuuys! Come on! Get up!" He lastly jumps onto Junho, shaking him by the shoulders. The older glares at him, "Dongpyo. If you don't get off of me, I'm going to kill you."

Dongpyo pouts and stands up, making his way to the front to face his members. "You guys are sick?"

"No. We're perfectly fine." Dohyon glares and turns to his side to avoid the light bulb staring into his eye sockets. "I feel like dying. It's obvious that we're not going to be able to go. We look like crap right now." Minhee murmurs, annoyance in his tone.

"But... You'll feel better once you have some ice cream!"

"Like hell we will!" Eunsang screams to the older, followed by a series of aggressive coughs. "You guys are just lame. So lame that you managed to get sick." Dongpyo rolls his eyes and grumbles before his head perks up. "I have an idea!"

"No..."

"Please just leave..."

"I'll take care of you guys!" He screams again while walking towards the couch to the side, digging through his members' belongings. All of them turn their heads, squinting their eyes to see what he was doing. Dongpyo smiles, mischievously, turning around with everyone's wallets in his arms. 

"Dongpyo... What are you doing?" Junho asks with a panicked voice. Dongpyo smiles his way, "I'm going to take care of you guys, duh!" He grins, walking towards the exit with all of their wallets in his grasp.

"No you're not!!!"

"Not with all of our wallets, you coward!"

"Son Dongpyo! Where are you going with our wallets?!" Minhee manages to croak with a raspy voice. Dongpyo turns to face the door, opening it and taking a step out.

"I'm going to save you guys, of course! But not before I buy some ice cream first- to share with you guys! Duh!" He laughs and switches off the light switch. The boys start to panic, Hyeongjun quickly sitting up to reach for him before Dongpyo closes the door on them.

"Hey! Get back here!!!"

"Stop! Where are you going!"

"Dongpyo, I'm going to kill you!!!"

* * *

"_Achoo_!" 

"Ugh... I feel terrible." Dongpyo whines. He had managed to get sick when he touched the germ infested wallets. Dohyon scoffs next to him, "Serves you right." His words makes Dongpyo hit him on the shoulder. Dohyon hisses and turns away from the boy.

"How dare you spend all of our money?!"

"How dare you all get sick and become suddenly lame! That ice cream shop was calling my name."

Junho turns to his side to face away from the two, rubbing his eyes with a yawn. "Where is Minhee?"

"Apparently he got better." Hyeongjun says, turning to his side to face Junho. "He's going to take care of us. He said he's going to get us some medicine."

Eunsang lets out a sigh of relief, putting a hand over his head with his eyes closed. "Thank goodness, he's an angel."

"What did we ever do to deserve Minhee?"

"I love Minhee... A true angel..."

They stop talking when they hear the door knob turning, all of them turning around to face Minhee. Their expressions soon change from hopeful to disgust in a mere two seconds looking at their member. He's standing there with a face mask on and two cans of congestion relief spray in his hands. He glares at his members who return the gesture. Both Minhee and his fellow 02 liners, plus Dohyon, are having a staring competition.

The stare off soon comes to an end when Minhee points the cans towards his members, fire in his eyes, and sprays like a mad man. All of them groan and go down easily, stuffing their faces into the pillows while being rained down with said spray. Mixtures of whines. sobs, and cries are heard through out the room as all members are being raided by Minhee.

Eunsang, who lays in front of Minhee, reaches up to slap a can out of his hand. Minhee panics, continuing to spray more on his members and moving throughout the room. It's a battlefield in the X1 dorms. Dongpyo reaches his hand over to trip the younger, Dohyon jumping onto Minhee and throwing the other can to the other side of the room.

"No!" Minhee screams as his mask gets ripped out of his face.

"Give him our sickness, Junho!" Dohyon screams as Junho makes his way over. He picks Minhee up in a choke hold, his lips inching near his face.

"Stop! Junho!" He cries. 

It's too late, though.

Junho presses his lips against Minhee's cheeks.

"Sickness, transferred." Junho speaks, laughing and letting go of Minhee. The others laugh along as Minhee drops down to his knees, faking a cry. "Why..." He whispers to himself.

"We trusted you, Minhee. This is for the best." Hyeongjun teases with a laugh.

"And also because we love you."

* * *

"I am going to kill all of you." Minhee groans, coughing afterwards and glaring to Junho, "Especially you. You're on my list first."

The sound of the door opening is what makes the boys' eyes pry open. However, being disappointed at who it had been, they close their eyes again and pretend to fake sleep. The boy at the door stands there, making his way towards the front.

"Hello, my fellow members. I am better. Did you miss me?" Dohyon laughs, "I'll get you anything you want. Tell me, and I'll gift you it. I, angel Dohyon, am here to rescue you all."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Get out."

Dohyon stays silent for a couple of seconds, letting out another laugh and putting his arm on his hip while shaking his head. "Did you not hear me? I said-"

"Dohyon. If you don't get out, I'll kill you." Junho alarms the younger with his words. "I'm here to take care of you, guys. Don't be afraid, I am here, not only as your trustworthy member, but as a brother aka your care taker. I love all of you individually. Although I treasure the hyungs more than you guys, I will be happy to take care of you guys in a-"

"Do I have to remind you? If you don't leave, I'll kill you. With my bare hands."

"Please listen to Junho..."

"Dohyon, do you not remember the last time you tried to take care of us..." Dongpyo cries, stuffing his face into a pillow.

Dohyon crosses his arms in front of his elders, rolling his eyes in the process.

"Listen, that time, I didn't mean to mix up water with lemonade, it totally wasn't on purpose, y'know? It was an accident. I didn't do it on purpose, I swear. Not cause I hate you guys or anything. I mean, I do. I hate you guys with every inch of my soul. Anyways, how was I supposed to know? They looked the same. It wasn't my fault we have a pitcher of lemonade and water in the same place. I apologized for messing up your throats. But like I said, I was taking care of you guys cause I care. I care about my fellow members-"

"You just said you hated us."

"Exactly- No wait. I don't. I love you guys. I love you guys so much that I accidentally drank all the water in the fridge. I lied. It wasn't accidental, I drank it all on purpose. Why? Because I actually do hate all of you. I hope you all continue to suffer because I'm not only Nam Dohyon, I am THE Nam Dohyon. You will address me as boss from now on. I want 50 carat rings on my fingers right now. You all are paying. All of you suck, if you need the proof I have a whole novel in my head as to why you all suck. You are beneath me, I am-"

"Eunsang." 

"Roger."

Eunsang gets up in a zombie-like style, making his way over to Dohyon. He falls onto the younger and attacks him with cuddles in an attempt to get him sick. Dohyon screams, trying to pry the older off of him and wiggling away. It's safe to say that Dohyon didn't survive the attack.

* * *

"You guys suck."

"Dohyon, we were not going to let you mix up lemonade and water again."

"It wasn't on purpose, though!" Dohyon cries, wiggling in his spot. Dongpyo whines, hitting Dohyon on the back to make him stop. Dohyon lets out a wheeze at the punch and stops moving immediately.

"Not only that... But you threatened us, said you hated us, said we were paying for 50 carat rings... Who do you think you are?!"

"I hate all of you."

"Guys, shut up for one second please. Where is Eunsang?" Minhee croaks, rubbing his eyes with a sigh.

"He's better, now. He's going to take care of us." Hyeongjun replies. All of them let out a series of unhappy noises, expecting what's to come.

The red haired boy was known for always teasing his members. Whether it'd be showing off that he had a type of snack and they didn't, he'd always find some way to annoy them on purpose. The threat isn't that effective on Junho or Minhee, though, as they learned to not fall for the others' tricks. They're self aware of who's trustworthy and who's not, and Eunsang is on the list of '_who's not._'

Eunsang opens the door, walking into the room with a Nintendo Switch in his hands and a bag of chips in the other. He walks past the members, not looking at them and paying attention to the screen as he sits on the couch nearby. They all eye him before laying their heads back down onto the mattress. He munches on the chips, loudly, jealousy rising in all of their souls. They try to tune it out by attempting to sleep, however it's unsuccessful as Eunsang turns the volume on the switch up.

The only sounds that could be heard in the room had been the sound of Mario's jumping, chips being eaten, coughs, and sneezes. Minhee then sits up, glaring at the red haired boy, "If you're going to play, can you play somewhere else?" He snaps and lays back down.

Eunsang turns his head slowly towards them, standing up to move locations. He is now sitting criss-crossed in front of the members with the same items in his hands. This time, he's mashing the buttons louder on purpose and stuffing chips in his mouth annoyingly.

"Eunsang. If you don't get out, I will kill you with my bare hands." Dongpyo manages to say half asleep.

"Make me."

Dongpyo pokes at Dohyon's side, signaling him to get up and do something about his fellow member. He rises, making Eunsang panic. The older keeps his cool so he doesn't show his weakness. However, he's currently shaking under Dohyon as he stands in front of him. It's enough to get him to put the snacks and the Nintendo Switch down. Dohyon points to the gaming console, "I touched that thing when I was sick and forgot to wipe it." 

Eunsang's eyes widen. His plan of trying to annoy his members backfired on him. Dohyon pats the boy on the head before returning to his spot on the mattress.

"See you with us again soon, Eunsang." Minhee teases.

* * *

"Where's Hyeongjun?"

"He got better, he told me he was going to take care of us." Eunsang says, hope in his tone. The other members groan. Hyeongjun had been the most aggressive member within the 02 line, plus Dohyon. The members fear him as he radiates a sort of evil aura around him. Their hyungs treat him like a baby, but don't know what he's like amongst Hyeongjun's fellow younger members. His face is all talk until you actually talk to him, they think.

Suddenly, the door opens from behind them. The boys look up, surprised at what they see. Hyeongjun is standing there with an innocent look plastered onto his baby face with a bowl of warm water in one arm and head towels in another. The members are curious, but don't trust what they're seeing all the way. 

"What's with the faces? I'm here to take care of you guys." Hyeongjun smiles, walking towards the front with a bowl of warm water and towels. Dohyon is the first to break expression, "Hyeongjun, you are an angel. Truly. Minhee should take notes."

"Shut up." Minhee hisses, looking towards Hyeongjun who is drowning the towels in warm water and squeezing them out. Everyone but Minhee and Junho's eyes sparkle at the gesture, the two know all too well not to fall for it and is cautious about the youngest of the 02's. To the other members, though, he looks like an angel in their eyes; like an angel god had secretly sent to them.

"Hyeongjun... I love you."

"You are truly an angel."

"Angel Hyeongjun..."

Minhee and Junho looks around at their members, not believing what they're hearing. They've all suffered through Hyeongjun's torment that consisted of insults and punches. Though, the description seems to have applied to every member of the younger line in X1.

Hyeongjun's angelic smile soon turns into a smirk as he stands, his fringe covering his eyes. His shadow casts over his members as he looks down upon them. All of them, including Minhee and Junho, gulp at the sudden change in expression. They fear of what's to happen next knowing how the boy is around them.

"You guys really want these towels, huh?" He speaks with a low voice with a towel in his hand, followed with an evil sounding giggle.

"Yes..."

"Please!"

"Save us..."

Hyeongjun chuckles, crouching down to their level. "Then beg for it! Call me your savior!"

"Hyeongjun, you're our savior!"

"Please give us the towels!"

"God Hyeongjun!"

Every member, even Minhee and Junho who had been so cautious around Hyeongjun's tricks, give into the younger's threats. Their heads are spinning and the only thing on their minds are those warm towels on their foreheads. All of them plead for Hyeongjun to save them and their heads.

"You want the towels?! Then! You can have them!" He yells, slapping each members foreheads with a warm towel. They all settle down, happiness in their voices when they murmur how they love Hyeongjun. A sigh of relief escapes their lips at the same time as Hyeongjun stands up, wiping sweat off his forehead.

"There you have it, you dummies! God Hyeongjun is here! You will address me as God Hyeongjun from now on!" He yells, laughing maniacally. "Get better, or die!"

* * *

Hyeongjun sneezes hard, his throat in pain as he lets out a sigh. "I did nothing but help you guys, and this is what I get?"

"Well, you did force us to scream about how you were God and stuff..." 

"Yeah you sounded crazy-"

"Because I am both of those."

* * *

"Day 500 of being sick: the table looks really nice right now. Might go and hit my head on it." Eunsang starts the conversation, his eyes closed.

"Please do."

"Hey!"

"Where did Junho go? Did he get better?" Minhee asks while looking around.

As if on cue, the door opens and Junho stands there with a large pot in his hands. Behind him are the older members of X1. The boys look up, happiness overtaking them. Amongst their line, Junho had been the one to pull them out of danger zones the most. This time, he's gone and completely taken the title of 'angel' in their group.

Wooseok sighs, walking in with his arms crossed. Seungwoo's face upon seeing the sick boys isn't pretty. Hangyul is holding bowls while Yohan carries a box of plastic spoons and a mat. Yohan sets down the mat followed by Junho setting said pot on top of it.

"God, you kids look like crap." Seungyoun shakes his head, looking at the younger ones below him.

"Seungwoo... Please save us." Dongpyo cries, making grabby hands to his father. "We've been sick all day. My head is going to explode."

Seungwoo crouches down infront of Dongpyo and ruffles his hair with a smile. "It's okay, we will. Junho told us you guys were sick."

"We brought soup and medicine for you guys." Yohan says, pointing towards the pot. The aroma of soup fills the air, the sick boys inhale graciously. They look at the older members with a glint in their eyes, their actual saviors here to save the day.

Dohyon snickers, whispering to Eunsang. "This is why I said I like them better than you guys." Eunsang doesn't loose his smile and secretly pinches the younger from under the blanket in irritation.

"Let's take the medicine first then eat the soup, okay?" Seungyoun suggests as they set up. Wooseok and Hangyul are on medicine giving duty as the others take care of handling the soup. Hell was upon them today with each trying to '_take care_' of each other. The older members, including Junho, take care of the baby line. 

**Author's Note:**

> hi! thanks for reading. feel free to follow me on twitter @minkyutes and on instagram @jnhyuks !  
just a random crack story because as much as i love x1 cuddling each other, it's fun to imagine them having fun and possibly trying to kill each other.


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